Inside: Keys and rabbits foot, cell phone, birth control, ipod touch, wallet from target, earrings from forever 21, Forever Sunshine Lotion from bath and body works, Perfume by Britney Spears, camera memory card incase my other one gets full, Bible, Bracelet, Elephant change purse I put my tylenol in, Sunnies from Forever 21.
I'm not feeling very happy today. I'm gonna share this with everyone because many of my readers are Christian, married women.
Lately I have felt like so many girls are not respecting MY marriage. I don't know if this has ever happened to any of you. But when Trey and I were young we had maybe three break ups when we were 16 that lasted roughly 3 to 4 days. He would sometimes hangout with other girls during these breakups. They were usually girls that he had never met before that he had only seen around shows and things that we would go to, they were never friends and didn't have mutual friends. Trey was never sexual with these girls they would usually only go as far as kissing. Although, when I was younger I struggled with getting over this for a really long time. Once we found ourselves so in love with God when we had matured more, I was able to forgive him and those girls and I was completely ready to start fresh. Although, lately I have found that these girls that were around when we were only 16 and 17 keep finding him on facebook and adding him and trying to catch up. (I'm talking some of them have actually added him like 6 or 7 times.) We deny them because I don't feel it is necessary for us to per sue relationships with them because we are married and none of them share common interests with us nor were they ever Trey's friends. I feel really sad that I'm even getting upset over facebook but when they add him and I have to see their pictures of them dressed scandalous or trying to look sexy, I can't help but get a little sick to my stomach. Not to mention I don't want my husband looking at their pictures which may rehash the memory of the time that they spent together. I feel really disrespected by these ladies because I feel like they are overstepping a boundary by not adding me as well. And I'm not sure how to deal with it in a healthy, Godly way. This weekend was really rough for me a girl he had hung out with added him for the 6 time in a month, her picture was her in a low cut shirt that also showed her stomach. She had a lot of makeup on and she was definitely not looking very modest. I was kinda to my wits end with seeing her on there so I sent her a private message and just said I would really appreciate it if you would not add my husband on facebook anymore. I'm not sure why you want to be friends on here but I don't think it's really necessary. I tried not to be mean at all. Within 5 minutes she replied with not only one message but THREE! She cussed at me, then told me that she could be friends with him if she wanted and that she thinks he's a really cool guy and that she is well aware of our relationship status. And ended the message with I hope you aren't threatened by me. She isn't a christian and I wasn't expecting her to say "Oh yeah I'm very sorry" But I kinda hoped that, thats what would happen. I'm not threatened by her at all, I know that Trey loves me and would never betray me or my trust but what should I do? I've been praying about how to handle all of it because she is just one example of girls not respecting the institution of marriage. Not to mention people that hit on him when we got places and things like that. I feel like I am beating my head on a wall. Any help on what to do? :(
On top of that not seeing Trey much at all because our schedules completely clash is making me feel really lonely. Your Prayers would be much appreciated.
Hey girl!
ReplyDeleteTo a certain degree I know the feeling - there is a girl that Chris knows from one of his jobs (he does 3 jobs at the moment which is a whole other story lol). Now she is a lovely person and she has the coolest hair (it's bright fuchsia it's amazing!) but when Chris started this job she wasn't cool - she added him on FB - which I have no problem with it was the fact that she kept poking him and he'd reply but when I texted him and stuff he wouldn't.
That's what got me wound up now it's taken time and Chris still sometimes fails to reply but he tries to reply and things.
If Trey is taking the initiative and ignoring these girls and refuses there friendship-ness surely that is a big deal - and sweetie HE MARRIED YOU - he didn't marry any of those other girlies - surely that counts for something right?
Sorry I'm probs not making much sense lol. If you wanna chat let me know - us married ladies have got to stick together!
Our purses are so similar! I have those sunglasses in 3 colors, lol.
ReplyDeleteAs far as what to do, I would continue to pray. Put the whole situation in God's hands and then forget about it entirely (as difficult as that may be). Pray for the strength to ignore the girls and trust in your husband to ignore them as well. Eventually, they will go away!
Oh girl, I totally understand your situation and you are not in the wrong at all! Marriage is such a holy and special thing and I wholeheartedly agree that you need to protect it with fierceness. By ignoring them for the first 6 times they added your husband, shows a whole lot of restraint and patience.. and your message that you finally did send was kind and polite. I would probably just keep ignoring them and denying their request. You said what you needed to, and as long as he agrees then your probably good to go. I mean, at least he isn't adding them and having conversations.
ReplyDeleteI would be extremely annoyed also. My husband doesnt have a facebook and that is a-ok with me! haha. But if he did, you bet Id be the same way.
I will be praying for you.. I hate when times clash and you don't get near enough needed time.
p.s. Your bag and contents are adorable. GOFIGURE. I've been wanting to do one of these posts for awhile, maybe I will soon!
hi sweetie. i was going to comment on that pretty bag of yours but there are bigger things to discuss. i'm not a christian, therefore i don't pray however i am sending extremely positive vibes your way and i hope that helps. though i am not married, i can completely understand where you are coming from as everyone struggles with jealousy. it's hard when your boyfriends a babe (hehe, mine too) and therefore girls like them, sometimes a lot. mikey is extremely modest and doesn't even realize girls are hitting on him or checking him out but i of course see it. now, i use to struggle with this but then i realized ya know what...let them look, let them chat him and try and talk to him, he loves me. HE LOVES ME. in your case, he is MARRIED to you. he CHOSE you...not those slutty girls in low cut shirts who wear a ton of makeup, you...gorgeous, beautiful YOU! and if you trust him, then you should have no troubles with these girls. they may feel like a 'threat' to you but they shouldn't because he could have had them (you said that yourself right? that he was seeing some of these girls when you two were on breaks) well guess what, he didn't pick them to marry. he picked YOU! just keep reminding yourself that...
ReplyDeletePersonally, I would just keep ignoring her - she will eventually realize that your husband does not want her in his life :)
ReplyDeleteWell first off cute bag, second off... I have been in a similar position before... semi (not as bad) at first we ignored all his exes. Josh was an atheist once upon a time, and very handsome so he dated a lot...(not to say atheists date a lot at all... what I mean is he personally didn't value his relationships back then as much.) Then when they kept asking to be his friend, we talked about it, and decided that it was more loving to let them, and his facebook is covered in pictures of me, and how wonderfully blessed our life is. (Plus he gets on literally like once a month).
ReplyDeleteNow with that said, I think this girl pushed the line, she is completely out of right to even speak to you like that... you are his wife, you two are one flesh, and its sad but some women actually get a thrill out of trying to woo married men. If it was me, I would discuss my feelings with my husband, and tell him I want to "block" her on fb. I think that is the best, because unfortunately like I said, I have witnessed (not with my husband) but others be pursued even though they are married.
Many blessings, Im praying for you!
I can completely understand being upset with some chick not respecting your marriage--I have definitely been there!
ReplyDeleteEspecially before we were married, I was much more jealous than I am now. (because Owen was/is a touring musician girls would/still do hit on him all the time, I always step in and flash the ring--or flash the baby. haha.
I would definitely try to stay calm about it and not fret about her--all you can really focus on and have an impact on is how you act, and your relationship with Trey.
If he knows how you feel about these girls and is sensitive to it and to you--then you have great man on your hands! Just be sure to remind yourself that you are the bomb, the one that married him--and the one that he comes home to!
xo
Jillian